A More In-Depth Look At Me

Who is running this account?

Robin Christine Honigsberg

Brief Introduction

Hi! 

My name is Robin Christine Honigsberg, and I began writing professionally in March 2021. 

I previously worked in the mental health field for over 15 years but burned out. Once I recovered, I chose not to return to mental health and instead became a writer. 

I am 47 and never married, although I was engaged in 2018. 

Family

Anyone who has read my nonfiction writing knows my family and I are estranged. My sister has spoken to me twice in about four years, and my mother hasn't spoken to me in 19 months. Neither of them wants anything to do with me because of the symptoms caused by my mental health issues.

My father passed away in 2003 when I was 26 1/2. My father was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer not long after I moved out of my parent's house at age 23.  

Because we were so similar, we mixed like oil and water and fought daily. We only got along after I moved out, but my father died 3 1/2 years later. We only had 3 1/2 good years after I moved out, and I cherish the memory of those 3 1/2 good years.

Unfortunately for me, my late father had been verbally, emotionally, mentally, and physically abusive. My sister and mother invalidated my memories and experiences by declaring him to have been a ‘disciplinarian.’ 

But, unlike me, I ensured my sister had a good relationship with our father. 

It was me who destroyed the already-tenous bond between us, and although it hurts, I was a bitch as a sister. But I never expected her to kick me out of her life entirely and never look back.

During the pandemic, she had to have emergency surgery, and I stupidly sent a nice and expensive get-well card. She never acknowledged it, and to this day, I have no idea if she ever even received it.

In addition, she never acknowledged my two suicide attempts two years ago. 

She should thank me for ensuring she didn’t become a head case like me. But why would she bother? She thinks I'm lying about our father being abusive and I’m dead to her.

University Life

Some people won’t believe me, and some will laugh, but I was a sorority girl at university, and I’m still in touch with a couple of the girls who had pledged to the sorority at the same time.

Back in my day, the pledge period wasn't easy, despite hazing being illegal in Canada. However, although the sorority modified the pledge rituals over almost three decades so the girls would only have fun, simple pledge tasks, the pledges still complain the sorority is too harsh on them! 

The last meeting I attended was sometime in the past two decades, and I was shocked and amused by the pledge complaints - if what they had to do was too severe, they wouldn’t have lasted an hour back in my day! 

Ultimately, despite all my partying, I accomplished my B.A. at Concordia University, my Graduate Certificate in Mental Health And Illness at McGill University, and my accreditation in Speech-Language Pathology at TAV Cegep.

Relationships

My ex-fiance was a controlling, greedy, selfish, uneducated asshole who, during a fight in June 2018, convinced me to overdose. When I woke up after being unconscious for a week, during which time I spent three days on a ventilator, I called off the wedding from my hospital room.

Raising Mental Health Awareness/Mental Health Issues

I struggle with mental health issues, including severe depression, Borderline and Avoidant personality disorders, and severe anxiety, among others. 

Some people held my health against me, judged me because of it, and automatically assumed the worst about me because of it. Even doctors stigmatize personality disorders, especially Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), and as a result, stigmatize all persons with BPD. 

So it’s no wonder it’s 2024, and most people are still ignorant about mental illness unless they, or someone they love, is directly affected by it.

Unique Features

I’m eccentric and eclectic about many things and in many ways: hair color, music, books, TV shows, movies, podcasts, clothing, food, hobbies, abilities, etc.

During the last three years, my hair has been bright blue, black, pastel pink, blue and purple, bright pink and purple ombre, and blond, green, and is currently teal. 

I don’t like being a sheep and refuse to follow trends; for example, I refuse to match my socks (read the article here).

I also have a ladybug tattoo on my inner left wrist, with the word “hope” written underneath. The ladybug has a semi-colon, the symbol of depression and suicide prevention, on her wing.

Music

My playlists are a mix; songs range from" “Joan Baez,” to “Frank Sinatra,” to “Elvis,” to “Nine Inch Nails,” to “Gwen Stephani,” to the soundtracks of various musicals, including"Hair," “Les Miserables,” “Chicago,” "The Lion King," and "Phantom of the Opera," among others. 

I’m not a big fan of classical, rap, hip-hop, house, or heavy metal, but I have songs and albums in my playlists from almost every other genre, including country.

Books

The joke in my house was if toilet paper had words, I would read it. As a teen, if desperate enough, while in the bathroom, I'd read the backs of bottles of shampoos, conditioners, and various other hair products (this was before smartphones.

I now have to buy books to read on my phone because even paperback books have become too expensive.

I enjoy reading almost all genres of books, and I own and have read many of the classics. But I must admit that my latest secret pleasure comes from reading about animals from the dinosaur era discovered in modern-day times, both on land and in the water. (I know it's cheesy).

Television/Movies/Podcasts

Many of my favorite TV shows will be considered ridiculous by most people. I’m a massive fan of the original Charmed and Buffy, the Vampire Slayer television shows, watching both daily, but the channel recently stopped airing both shows.

I love documentaries about history and historical individuals, the various Royal Families, "America’s Book of Secrets," and anything else about conspiracies, as well as comedies such as "Fresh Off the Boat ," and "Corner Gas," a surprisingly funny Canadian comedy. I also enjoy dramas like "The Wilds," "The Widow," and "Departure." I also enjoy adult cartoons such as "Bob’s Burgers," "American Dad," "King of the Hill," "Fugget About It," and "Archer," but I’ve seen almost every episode.

I adore Lifetime’s Reel One Entertainment "so bad they’re great" thrillers, suspense, and dramas, but I loathe their stupid, cheesy, romantic, cliched love stories (see story below.)

Food

I’ll be candid; I’m not a good cook since I’m used to cooking only for myself, but I can make two things really well. Tzaziki, often requested by my late father and friends hosting potlucks and chicken soup, the one dish every Jewish woman should know how to make correctly. I may only know how to prepare two food items, but I prepare them expertly. 

I’m not a good Jewish girl; I don’t cook, and I don’t keep kosher. I always said that I would keep a kosher home when I had a family, but I never had one, and at this point in my life, I don’t expect to start one. 

Unfortunately, I had a miscarriage in my late 20s and never got pregnant again.

First Career

For almost 15 years, I worked in mental health in various capacities, including as an administrative assistant, mental health educator, and Childcare Worker at a high school for teens with Special Needs for eight years. But I lost my job when I burned out and was on sick leave for too long, recovering from my overdose in 2018 and my subsequent depression, which I’m still battling.

Writing Career

I dreamed of being a writer or working in the writing field since I was eight, and my dream is finally coming true!

I've written and self-published both a 31-poem chapbook, "Dysfunctional Me: A Collection of poems about trauma, grieving and loss," (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BZJPPYF4) and a collection of 66 poems, "Inside My Chaotic Mind: A collection of poems about mental illness, relationships and God."(https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CNSLGZ38)

Nice to meet you!
Robin❤️💫

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Related Stories:

I Spurn Matching My Socks Into Corresponding Pairs Because either the washer or dryer constantly kidnaps one of them

The machines are mechanical equivalents of Bonnie and Clyde

Photo by Sarah Chai from Pexels

I refuse to match my socks. 

It’s a lifestyle choice, so don’t judge me. 

It’s also a matter of practicality. One sock always goes missing between when I put my laundry in the washer and when I take it out of the dryer.

Washers and dryers are the mechanical equivalent of Bonnie and Clyde on a rampage stealing socks. I’ve had other clothing go missing, but they might be victims of theft by one of my neighbors, and not the washer or dryer. Then again, I can’t be sure. After all, the washers and dryers in my building are proven thieves.

Besides, I don’t want to be a sheep and do something as mundane as matching my socks like everyone else. 

Instead of separating my socks into matching pairs, they are effortlessly dumped loosely into my sock drawer.

It’s a testament to my individuality and showcases my personality.

 It’s also more fun and creative to wear two diverging socks from two disparate pairs; matching sets are boring.

But if you want to judge me for wearing mismatched socks, go ahead.

You don't seem to have anything better to do with your time. 

I will continue mismatching my socks and enjoying the little fun things in life. You can think what you want.

It’s not like I care.

The Secret of “The Tragically Hip” Concert at “The Spectrum”

To this day, I don’t understand how no one noticed I was fooling around with one of our friends during the concert!

Photo by Filip Andrejevic on Unsplash

Since late high school, the people I had been friends with then and I were huge fans of The Tragically Hip, a Canadian band; I’ve personally seen them more than half a dozen times.

I saw them perform at the Montreal Forum, three or four outdoor venues, and a couple of smaller, more intimate clubs, at which one I had a night I’ll never forget!

I was driving home from work the night before the show, listening to the radio station “Mix96”, when the DJ announced that The Tragically Hip had performed a surprise concert that day in Ottawa. The rumor was they would play the next day in Montreal, and the DJ instructed listeners to listen for an announcement tomorrow.

I had to work the following day, and because of Quebec’s language laws, the radio station we played at the store where I worked was a French station, so I would be unable to listen to the DJ’s announcement.

My girlfriends were at a coffee at a café that was on my way home from work, so I stopped, had a cup of coffee with them, and asked them to listen to the “Mix96” radio station the next day in case “The Hip” did play a last-minute, surprise concert the next day in Montreal. I explained I had to be at work until 5 pm and couldn’t listen to the English radio station for the announcement.

I was working at a kid’s clothing store at the time, a job I didn’t particularly enjoy, working at the cash register during the lunch rush, a busy time of day because people often shopped during their lunch breaks.

While scanning the clothes a customer purchased, the store phone rang. Being the closest one to it, I answered without pausing my scanning.

“Trix, Bonjour. Robin a l’appareil. Comment-est-ce-que je peux vous aider?” (“Trix, Hi, my name is Robin. How can I help you?”).

“Guess who’s going to see “The Hip” tonight at The Spectrum?

 I squealed in delight, “I am! But it’s the lunch rush, so I’ll call you back during my break." I hung up on my friend with a massive smile on my face.

When my shift was over, I grabbed my backpack, said goodbye, and headed over to meet my friends. When I arrived at the venue, I received numerous “thanks so much for telling us” from other friends who heard about the show through word of mouth, already in line.

Word of mouth spread the news about “The Hip’s” impromptu performance, resulting in the attendance of many people with whom I was acquainted.

The Spectrum was a small, intimate venue. One of my close friends previously rented the club for her Sweet Sixteen. The stage was at the back, there was a minuscule dance floor in front of the stage, and a step up, there were tables of seats surrounding the stage and dance floor in a horseshoe shape.

My friends and I got great seats directly in front of the stage, in the first section of tables behind the dance floor, but there weren’t enough chairs for all of us, so we shared seats and sat on each other’s lap.

To this day, not one of my friends in attendance knows when I was sitting on one of the guy’s laps, he had his hands in my pants, and I had my hands in his!

No one ever caught on to the fact we were constantly touching each other and managed to fool around for years without any of our friends knowing.

Often, I would take one of my parent’s cars to go to his house in the middle of the night. I would park around the corner, and he would sneak me in, hiding me from his parents.

All he wanted from me was to fool around when he was horny. Otherwise, he barely spoke to me even when we both happened to be at the same gatherings. He didn’t want anyone to find out we were fooling around - he would have gotten so much grief from our friends about being with me, and besides, he was interested in dating another girl, not me.

He wouldn’t be the only guy to keep me a secret and be ashamed to admit he was with me, but he was the first.

My favorite “Tragically Hip” memory will always be the concert when we were fooling around in front of our friends, and not a single one of them noticed!

We had mastered the art of fooling around in public without anyone catching us. Either we were excellent at hiding what we were doing, or our friends were completely oblivious!

All these years later, the memory of our clandestine meetings to fool around and not get caught still makes me smile.

A part of me misses those days, but I suspect only because I'm single! I don’t miss being some guy’s secret plaything; now I know I deserve better.

But it makes me laugh more than 20 years later that the people from that time in my life are still entirely ignorant about what happened!

01/23/2022

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